How to Use in Therapy
 
Find Your Voice completes the Reason modules with materials that build on cognitive and boundary repair work. It provides practical tools that address beliefs that may interfere with assertiveness as well as twelve skills.
 
Survivors come to therapy with varying levels of assertiveness skills. Abuse by their partners often punishes the use of these skills and discourages the belief that they have the right to express what they think and feel. Survivors may also enter relationships with traditional beliefs that limit their sense of agency.
 
Assertiveness Defined clarifies the differences between assertive, passive, and aggressive communication. It affirms that choosing passivity in situations of danger can be an assertive decision. Abusive partners often label assertive behavior as aggression. Therapists may find this helpful in addressing confusion that results from these distorted messages.
 
Assertive Beliefs builds on this foundation by identifying common beliefs that inhibit assertiveness. Survivors benefit from recognizing nonassertive beliefs they may hold and working through the discomfort that can arise when adopting more assertive beliefs. This process helps prepare them for learning and using assertiveness skills.
 
Find Your Voice Worksheets are organized into three skill areas: self-defining skills, feedback skills, and conflict management skills, with four skills in each category. Each skill includes steps for implementation, examples, and practice exercises. The worksheets also identify assertive beliefs that support the use of each skill.
 
These materials help survivors overcome fear of expressing themselves by providing practical tools for learning. Therapists should emphasize the importance of assessing safety when interacting with abusive partners or former partners. Guidance is included regarding when each skill is appropriate to use.
Self-Defining Skills: Request and Refusal support survivors in asking for what they want and saying no—foundational skills for agency that are often punished in abusive relationships.
Self-Defining Skills: Expressing Emotions and Empathy support connection with others. Some survivors may find these easier to use, while others may need more support in developing them.
Feedback Skills: Giving and Receiving Positive Feedback addresses common challenges and provides practical steps for use.
Feedback Skills: Giving and Receiving Negative Feedback supports the development of healthy relationships by demonstrating how constructive feedback can be given and received.
Conflict Management Skills: Time Out and Broken Record encourage addressing conflict rather than avoiding it. Different forms of time out are presented depending on context, and the broken record skill is useful when others do not respect limits.
Conflict Management Skills: Anger Starvation and Positive Admission provide constructive ways to address conflict and acknowledge mistakes.
Assertiveness Practice includes thirty-five situations that allow practicing all twelve assertiveness skills.
Assertiveness Skills Summary gives a two-page shortcut instruction for using each skill. 
Practice Worksheet provides guidance for preparing for stressful interactions and reflecting on past situations. A Practice Worksheet Example demonstrates its use.
 
Find Your Voice materials support survivors in expressing themselves with clarity and confidence, strengthening agency and communication in their relationships.