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Healing from abuse by a partner involves ending the silence about it by taking back or owning your story—unhampered by an abusive partner’s control and beliefs. In short, this means you stop believing what your partner’s behavior convinced you to believe.  Owning your story is a process of: Recognizing abusive behavior patterns and how they affect you Releasing responsibility for how you were treated Addressing injuries to your self-esteem Rebuilding trust in yourself   Seein

Couples in an abusive relationship often seek therapy for other issues and fail to mention abuse. A few of the reasons they don’t...

Couples therapy is not appropriate when one partner abuses the other. This general rule applies until the abuser holds themselves...

Trauma healing is a vital component of therapy for intimate partner abuse survivors. Trauma symptoms interfere with partner abuse...

This article provides information for therapists and survivors that explains when clients do not recognize abuse. It serves as...

Recognizing narcissistic behavior in partners often happens after years of confusion and harm. While labeling their behavior won’t change...

As you can see, my sister and I were properly attired to resist sandstorms for our camel ride. Twenty-four hours of travel back to Merica...

When you "find your voice" means you develop the confidence and ability to express your unique perspective, opinions, and ideas. I...

Many survivors of partner abuse wonder how to respond to intimidation after they’ve left. Regardless of whether the ex-partner’s...

Often there is a gap between recognizing abusive behavior and both knowing what you want and taking steps toward it. This blog identifies...

The holidays are painful when you’ve experienced a loss, including ending an abusive relationship. You may wonder how to start over, to...

Safety issues and concerns about the best interests of children were barriers to healing mentioned in Healing and Creating a New Life ....

Healing and creating a new life after abuse are multi-faceted processes. Often, they feel overwhelming. You usually begin the work of...

Survivors of intimate partner abuse sometimes say they feel overwhelmed by politics. For that matter, many of us do. Overwhelm is a...

The time it takes to leave an abusive relationship is the time you need, so let go of any shame or embarrassment about it. Leaving is not...

Repeated abuse changes how you think about yourself and your abilities. Recovery work includes releasing destructive beliefs and the instilled fear produced by abuse.

Do not allow anxiety to interfere with gaining the support you need. The following gives guidance in how to tell someone about abuse. It also bolsters you in not taking personally anyone’s lack of support or disbelief if that occurs.   

Gaslight security begins with recognizing it. Merriam-Webster’s definition of gaslighting: “psychological manipulation of a person...

To regain your power in an abusive relationship, you must name what is happening and accept it. Accept what is. Despite how painful that is. Accepting does not mean you approve, agree, or are okay with it. It is also not forgetting or pretending the abuse didn’t occur.

Believing you deserve abuse is an injury from coercive control. Abuse damages your belief in your worthiness, leaving you vulnerable to those who want to dominate.