We often want to retaliate and give people a dose of what they’ve given us, but this does not maintain our power.

It is often an irony that we fear what we also want. We may want success in some particular way, but we are terrified of achieving it and may undermine it. Success brings recognition and that is often very uncomfortable for us. Being visible may have represented danger in the past if we've experienced any type of abusive relationship at home or work. We may have learned to hide ourselves so as not to elicit criticism or abuse. If we haven't fully healed this, it will block o

In an ideal world, all of our experiences growing up would be positive. Our family members would unfailingly give affirming messages about ourselves, ones that told us we were worthy of love. This kind of treatment would get internalized as positive beliefs and thoughts, such as “I’m a good person” or “I’m love-able”. Unfortunately, our environments aren't always ideal! Even the best may at times provide input that is negative or punitive, rather than positively disciplinin

Assertiveness is not a personality trait but rather a learned set of behaviors. Assertive behavior expresses what we think and feel in ways that are respectful to others. If we have not grown up with assertive models to learn from, we may not know how to be assertive or even feel we have that right. Some people believe that being assertive is being rude or un-feminine. No one is assertive 100% of the time. Knowing our thoughts and feelings is a process, and sometimes it