The holidays are painful when you’ve experienced a loss, including ending an abusive relationship. You may wonder how to start over, to create a life free of abuse. Though January is a time when many want a fresh beginning, it isn’t just a matter of setting goals or resolutions when you’ve left an abusive relationship. If you’re living with abuse now, you may find How to Cope When You Feel Sad During the Holidays helpful. Here are five guides for how to start over when you’

Healing and creating a new life after abuse are multi-faceted processes. Often, they feel overwhelming. You usually begin the work of creating before you’re healed, so that makes it harder. Here are steps to navigate your path. Take Space First, allow yourself space to reflect on your partner’s behavior and how it aligns with your relationship expectations. Without this, you never begin. During this time, you question their behavior and see if they’ll change. Love and hope

The time it takes to leave an abusive relationship is the time you need, so let go of any shame or embarrassment about it. Leaving is not the simple, black and white process many think it is. In order to overcome barriers such as gas-lighting, danger, lack of resources, isolation, and self-esteem injuries, you have to see your partner’s behavior clearly and then plan carefully. The time it takes to understand, grieve, and make decisions depends upon your situation. Living

Repeated abuse changes how you think about yourself and your abilities. Recovery work includes releasing destructive beliefs and the instilled fear produced by abuse.