Find Your Voice Transition

When you "find your voice" means you develop the confidence and ability to express your unique perspective, opinions, and ideas. I adopted that as my new website brand because abuse silences the voices of survivors.

Reclaiming strength: Find your voice after an abusive relationship.

When you recognize your partner is abusive, this requires a huge "find your voice transition." Your awareness changes, and you experience emotional upheaval. You're faced with adjusting how you see your partner and making decisions while grieving. This takes time.

There are many occasions throughout life that we transition to something new and adjust to new circumstances. Many transitions are pleasant, and some are unpleasant. Some find your voice transitions involve a mix of pleasant and unpleasant emotions, but they all require time to adapt. Graduating from school, marrying, moving, or starting new jobs. Ending a job, moving when you don't want to, retiring, or losing a loved one.

You need to give yourself grace for the time it takes. It's the amount of time you need.

My Journey of Change

When my book was published, I quickly discerned that my life needed to change. It was time to end my practice as a therapist. I didn’t have the time or energy to devote to that and to new ways of supporting survivors. The next step for me seemed to be

"Journey to Healing: A comprehensive guide for therapists by Jennifer C. Parker, M.S.S.W., encouraging professionals to help clients find their voice and end the silence."

sharing my knowledge about survivors

and what they found helpful with

therapists. That meant I had to adapt and change.

Let me tell you, therapists are not naturally drawn to marketing; at least, this one isn’t. It felt overwhelming, marketing my book and reaching out to therapists with my curriculum and workshops. It’s been a journey of learning and growth. And of building confidence. I found people and resources that helped me along the way.

The launch of my updated website, Find Your Voice, along with the Journey to Healing curriculum, are the most recent outcomes.

Find Your Voice Transitions Checklist

I hope you see parallels in my story to transitions you face. Feeling overwhelmed, awkward, anxious, or confused is normal, whether the transition is pleasant or unpleasant. Adjustment takes time. Reaching out opens new doors and that feels scary as well as exciting.

You may find this checklist of elements that assist my transitions helpful. They are ones we continually have to work on, so don’t despair if they seem impossible. One step at a time is how you find your voice.

Build support

Even when you have a great support network, you need to expand to include the new situation. Whether that’s moving, learning a new job, or, in my latest case, building a website. You truly need a village, even more so when the adaptation involves an abusive partner. Seek friends or professionals with knowledge and/or the capacity to respect your decisions and advocate for you.

Manage emotions

The mix of emotions you face with transitions can prevent you from effectively adapting. Use practices such as talking to friends, journaling, meditating, praying, and reading inspirational books or articles to keep yourself grounded. I use a mix of all these to stay centered.

Seek information

To know what you think and make decisions, you need information that informs you about the situation and possible ways of handling whatever you face. For survivors, books, websites, blogs, podcasts, domestic abuse agencies, and therapists are possible sources.

Discern what the best path is

Even when you have a goal in mind, you still have to discern the best way to attain your goal. You can make no hard and fast plans, because changes often happen along the way. Writing in a journal is my way of sorting through my thoughts and discerning my path. Some find it better to talk to someone they trust, and of course you can do both. When it comes to an abusive partner, safety planning is often an important discernment step.

Believe in yourself

When you approach change, it's normal for anxiety and self-doubt to bubble up. This is especially true when your partner has undermined your confidence and self-esteem. The key here is to know these emotions are integral to change and keep going.

Find an affirmation or mantra that supports you when you feel challenged and unsure of yourself. A favorite one for me is "I am enough." Download for free Mind Mastery: Self-esteem to learn more.

Find Your Voice

Building support provides a strong foundation for all the other elements, so if you lack support, undertake that one first. If a professional is the first one you confide in, that's a fine start.

Find inspirational resources for your "find your voice transition" on my website by reading past blogs and listening to podcasts. Subscribe to be sure you receive future content.