“Opening our eyes to how intimate partners harm us hurts. . . This may feel excruciating, but it’s also the beginning step to reclaiming yourself.” This quote from chapter one of Coercive Relationships, describes the hurt that makes it painful to admit a partner is abusive. The journey of reclaiming yourself is not easy, but the way is smoothed for those fortunate to have supportive friends, family, faith leaders, and professionals. “Reclaiming your voice” refers to recognizi

Healing from abuse by a partner involves ending the silence about it by taking back or owning your story—unhampered by an abusive partner’s control and beliefs. In short, this means you stop believing what your partner’s behavior convinced you to believe. Owning your story is a process of: Distinguishing abusive behavior patterns and releasing responsibility for how you were treated Recognizing other forms of abuse of power you may have experienced Learning about emotions an

Many survivors of partner abuse wonder how to respond to intimidation after they’ve left. Regardless of whether the ex-partner’s motivation is revenge or wanting to have their way, interacting with them saps your energy and frequently causes you to feel hopeless and helpless. This article addresses how to respond to intimidation. But first, we’ll look at the need to resist reacting quickly to what they do. Reaction Pitfalls You may react out of anger or frustration that your

Safety issues and concerns about the best interests of children were barriers to healing mentioned in Healing and Creating a New Life. This blog addresses two important ones that affect safety and family welfare. It ends with a list of resources to help overcome barriers to healing. They help you know the best ways to navigate any difficulties you encounter. Barriers to Healing: Attorneys without Expertise in Coercive Control Attorneys often do not understand coercive co