Sometimes people are confused about what assertive behavior is. At times, the term aggressive is used interchangeably with assertive. I use the following definitions: Assertive behavior is any behavior in which you stand up for yourself – through expressing feelings, thoughts, opinions, or actions – while also respecting the rights and feelings of others. Passive or non-assertive behavior is any behavior in which you do not stand up for your self, and do not reveal your feel

A healthy relationship has two people who are committed to each other’s best interests. They communicate in words and actions respect and interest in one another. Signs of trouble are: Breaking promises, Refusing to commit to a person, project, idea, or date Putting off the next level of a relationship indefinitely Forgetting meetings or dates (routinely, not occasionally) Not listening to you or not recalling important information you’ve told them When people do this a lot,

Any person who is in the middle of controlling relationship can benefit from someone objectively and respectfully talking to them about their options and avenues for safety. The key is objectivity and respect. You have the possibility of being more objective because you are not emotionally involved. You don’t have a stake in the relationship continuing or not continuing. If you find that you do, then it’s time to stop and examine why you have an agenda. Many family members a

Insight comes slowly, like the careful stringing of pearls. A jewel, a knot, another jewel, another knot. It’s an insanely difficult act to make a necklace in the midst of tempest, to sit quietly with trembling fingers, while the well water spills over from the sides of your eyes. But with insight also comes healing, the return of laughter, the possibility of joy.

Anytime you feel puzzled or confused, start to listen for what those emotions are saying to you and find the teaching. They signify that something needs your attention. I believe we always gain when we stop to figure out what is nagging at us. When we ignore it, we always lose some part of ourselves. Confusion or puzzlement is the part of our psyche that jumps up and says “Wait a minute! You need to think about this!” The very act of stopping to think about what underlies an