Intimate partner abuse survivors have one or more of the following experiences with their own anger. Actually, all but the first one are common for others as well. This blog will explore each type before talking about anger as a superpower.

It’s Not Against the Law If you have experienced coercive control, you know the devastating effects. Those who feel entitled to use it strip away our freedom of expression, limiting what we can do and say. It damages our sense of self-worth. It increases self-doubt. We often say we feel crazy because of the intense gaslighting and distortions that occur. Coercive control violates civil rights, but all the forms it takes are not a crime. Many people feel frustrated when the ab

Next steps are always scary. We don’t know what they will be like—not really—until we take them. Each of the paths listed above encompasses many steps. We can set off, but we cannot outline each step, each curve, each boulder along the way, and when we think we have to, it stops us from ever setting off.

I am opening a new chapter in my career. I will be sending in the manuscript for my book for survivors of intimate partner abuse within a couple of weeks. I began revising my web site to reflect that I only do intimate partner abuse work now. I am contemplating supervising a Master’s level student. I have two workshops to prepare for this fall. A lot is happening and it is all in the middle of a pandemic!

This post is about shifting our attitudes regarding the need to take a stand on domineering, coercive behavior. Beyond the justified anger and grief is a space for pride in the fact that we never give up on empowering ourselves.

We can all do our part by supporting protests of these injustices. That can take the shape of a march, but longer term work happens by joining organizations that work against intimate partner and racial injustice.

We often want to retaliate and give people a dose of what they’ve given us, but this does not maintain our power.

Intimate partner violence victims’ safety has always been linked to how communities work together to reduce IPV. Unfortunately, our society’s response to IPV often enables violence.

Being under a Safe at Home order is an oxymoron when it comes to IPV, since home is where you’re in danger.

Trauma symptoms can worsen when triggered by current stressors.